We Lebanese are flakey people. We love to tell people things that will never possibly come true. When we say, "Tomorrow," it doesn't really mean tomorrow. But this trait is not uncommon around the world.
What is unique is the style of Lebanese friendliness:
An American friend has a useful way of interpreting Lebanese flakiness. She argues that when Lebanese say, "We will have lunch in my village this weekend," or, "All of us will get together before you leave the country forever," we really mean "Wouldn't it be nice if we could all get together and have lunch in my village this weekend?"
Unless a date and time are given, the offer is just a friendly gesture. There is no weight to it, and nothing should be expected of the other. For example, one should not give the person a call on Friday saying, "So, are we going to have lunch in your village this weekend?" The answer will be awkward: "Uhhhh, listen. Uhhh, not this weekend. I've got this important event. But call me next week, and we'll arrange it."
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3 comments:
mmmm this is indeed what I said, but my interpretation is somewhat different (and more positive!).
In the US, wedemonstrate the sincerity of the friendly gesture by moving immediately from the wish to the plan-making. Here, the expression of the wish is enough.
Saying "let's have lunch in my village" (and by the way, the last time I was taken to someone's "village" for supper we dined at Chez Pierre) is itself a way of saying "you are my friend and you are important to me".
Its very Lebanese, but its also very New York :-).
This is a VERY American phenomenon as well! I was just talking to an Israeli friend of mine about this today. She argues that it's quite the opposite in Israel and what we (American's) would consider a polite gesture is actually solid plans for them.
Quite interesting.
From my own experience that is a very American phenomenon and a friend of mine tells me the same is true in Australia! Jami is right, it is totally the opposite in Israel and the suggestion of getting together at the weekend means mark your calender because it will happen.
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